My Grandmother, the one I told you about recently, passed away yesterday morning.
I was thinking about her all day today, about what constitutes a "life" and what remains after one has gone.
I left for my daily run a little later than usual and when I arrived at my route, it was 9:00pm. The ground was wet from a big storm that had been battering the Osaka region all day, but the storm had stopped by the time I arrived it was humid and sprinkling lightly. In the dark the lights from the nearby houses and apartments reflected off the glassy lake. I began on my first loop of my usual 3k track.
I was still thinking about my grandmother and sort of wishing that she would be able to show me a sign that everything would be alright. As soon as I started I noticed a group of ten or so tiny bats swirling and swooping just above and around my head. Was this a sign?
I was not yet into the 2km when a weasel dashed across my path, this has never happened to me before. Was this a sign?
On my second loop I noticed how calm and quiet it was, not a soul around. Was this a sign?
On the final loop not yet seeing a ghostly vision I started to think I was being stupid looking for such signs so I instead focused on my breath and the way I was feeling running through the darkness. I could feel each breath going in and out, each step bringing droplets of water down on me ones that had gathered in my wet hair. I concentrated on the moving of my chest and arms and by the time I hit the 10km mark I was really cruising. Racing through the dark wet night thinking to myself, this is a sign, I'm alive, I'm healthy and doing what I love and none of this would have been possible without my grandmother.
She continues to live in me and as long as I keep her in my memory and do my best I am honoring her memory by living as she did, the best she could.